I guess the earthquake destroyed math

I asked these dumbasses to calculate the popular vote. They gave me performance art.

Haiti just completed its two-round presidential election process.

These were the final results from the first round election in 2010:

Source: CIA FactBook & Provisional Electoral Council

Haiti
Total population: 9,719,932
Total eligible voters: 4,712,693
Total votes cast: 1,074,056

Michel Martelly
Total votes cast: 234,617
Popular support among eligible voters: 5%
Popular support among the population: 2.5%

Mirlande Manigat
Total votes cast: 336,878
Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
Popular support among the population: 3.5%

Popular support among eligible voters

These were the preliminary results from the second round election in 2011:

Source: CIA FactBook & Haiti Libre

Haiti
Total population: 9,719,932
Total eligible voters : 4,694,961
Tota votes cast: 1,053,733

Michel Martelly
Total votes cast: 716,986
Popular support among eligible voters: 15%
Popular support among the population: 7%

Mirlande Manigat
Total votes cast: 336,747
Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
Popular support among the population: 3.5%

Popular support among eligible voters

And this was the batshit crazy analysis coming out of North America:

Source: The New York Times

One of Haiti's most popular entertainers was elected president in a landslide, according to results announced Monday.

It appears that Haitians believed that only a political outsider like Mr. Martelly could change the country's direction.

Source: Reuters

"Martelly's victory implies a rejection of the political class that has both governed and been in the opposition," said Robert Fatton Jr., a Haiti expert and professor in the University of Virginia's Department of Politics.

"Martelly captured the mood of the voters by cleverly using his 'bad boy' image to enhance his status as the ultimate 'outsider' who symbolized change," he told Reuters.

Source: Associated Press

“Micky is a political animal, and the political establishment failed to realize how much of a phenomenon he is,” said Garry Pierre-Pierre, editor and publisher of The Haitian Times, a New York-based newspaper. “This is a man who literally can get a million people to move to his groove.”

Hope these motherfuckers get buried under the landslide they're manufacturing.

Al Giordano: Il duce of dumbasses

The extent of Al Giordano's gorilla training

On February 23 2011, Al Giordano decided he was a strategic genius:

Source: The Field

[Skipping the first 11 paragraphs of shameless, rambling, self-promotion...]

Somewhat less skillful, on Castro’s part, has been his ham-handed attempt to shift the attention from the atrocity underway to a hypothetical one: His statement that, “the United States is totally unconcerned about peace in Libya and will not hesitate to give NATO the order to invade that rich country, possibly in a matter of hours or a few days.”

First of all, what could NATO possibly do to the Libyan people that Gaddafi isn’t already doing?

...these events indicate that it is not NATO or foreign powers that will most quickly dispose of the despot, but the very people he has governed for 42 years.

Today is March 20 2011 & US Vice Adm. William Gortney is showing off Pentagon video of NATO's various attacks on Libya.

When asked about NATO's killing of Libyan ground troops, he responded: "If Libyan infantry are moving onto opposition forces in Libya, they are under attack."

When asked if NATO would stop rebels from attacking immobile Libyan troops, he responded: "At this point I'm not ready to step outside the messaging we've put out."

Al-Jazeera has just reported smoke arising from the Libyan presidential palace, and explosions all around the capital of Tripoli. The result of NATO aerial bombings.

We thank Al Giordano for his ham-handed attempt at out-thinking a man who's outlasted 9 American presidents.

P.S. If you think I couldn't have done any better, see what I wrote on February 22 2011 (one day before Al posted his piece). At least my self-promotion comes under 10 paragraphs, and contains truth.

They heard me singing & they told me to stop...

Canadians celebrate Arcade Fire's Grammy win.

It was always a question of when, not if, they'd win big. The Arcade Fire took album of the year, defeating peroxide abusers Lady Gaga & Eminem.

These guys have consistently combined great sound & thoughtful lyrics. As expected, someone who recognizes neither spent $40,000 to undermine their victory:

Source: New York Times

What truly inspired the writing of this letter was that this most recent show fed my suspicions. As the show was coming to a close and just prior to presenting the award for Album Of The Year, the band Arcade Fire performed “Month of May” — only to… surprise… win the category and, in a moment of sheer coincidence, happened to be prepared to perform “Ready to Start.”

Steve Stoute introduces himself as "the owner of a firm that specializes in in-culture advertising". Basically, he introduces prominent clients (ie. McDonald's) to eager sex workers (ie. Justin Timberlake). I'm pretty sure he created that infomercial 'Modern Family'.

Someone needs to punch Stoute repeatedly, and beat him with a telephone and champagne bottle. Oh wait...Puffy already did hahahaha!

Now enough talk about second-degree assault. Here's a beautiful song:

Album: Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Song: Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)

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