Showing posts with label Popularity Contests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Popularity Contests. Show all posts

True Patriot Love

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  • 4/27/2011
  • P-ublic E-nemy
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  • Canada's general election is a week away (May 2, 2011). As of this post, revolution is in the air...joining our embarrassingly high per capita C02 emissions. But before I address any of that, it's important to know how we got here.

    I previously introduced you to the opposition leader, Michael Ignatieff. Today I'll introduce you to our incumbent prime minister, Stephen Harper (Conservative Party of Canada):

    Stephen Harper is a leader who can be trusted to run the country, manage the economy and protect our security in the greater public interest at a time of global uncertainty. Uniting our federation – and keeping his commitments – he is delivering on a people-focused agenda.



    If anything, he's a remarkably honest man. Here he is, issuing a warning to Canadians who might vote for his party:

    Stephen Harper warned “a party that does not have the interests of this country at heart, will be looking to exploit any incoherence or instability for its own purposes.”



    Such a disclaimer should not come as a surprise. I don't understand why all the opposition parties keep harping on about Harper's "hidden agenda". The guy has publicly written about his desire to "not have the interests of this country at heart":

    During and since the recent federal election, we have been among a large number of Albertans discussing the future of our province. We propose our province move forward on the following fronts:

    1. Withdraw from the Canada Pension Plan
    2. Collect our own revenue from personal income tax
    3. Start preparing to let the contract with the RCMP run out in 2012 and create an Alberta provincial police force
    4. Resume provincial responsibility for health care policy. We can afford the financial penalties Ottawa might try to impose under the Canada Health Act.

    As economic slowdown, and perhaps even recession, threatens North America...It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta.

    Once Alberta's position is secured, only our imagination will limit the prospects for extending the reform agenda. To cite only a few examples, lower taxes will unleash the energies of the private sector; easing conditions for charter schools will help individual freedom...

    Sincerely yours,

    Stephen Harper, President, National Citizens' Coalition




    International readers are probably wondering why Canadians put this fugitive from the Branch Davidians in charge of our federal government. After all, Americans would only trust him to lead Texas...not the entire country.

    In our defense, over 60% of us voted against him. Hell, even his own compound thinks he's kind of nutters.

    A clear majority of Albertans reject the hard-edged "Alberta First" provincialism being promoted by prominent conservatives in the province, a new Globe and Mail/CTV poll suggests.

    The survey of 750 Albertans, conducted last week, showed a large majority of Albertans support national programs such as the Canada Pension Plan and the Canada Health Act.

    The Ipsos-Reid poll tested public support for a manifesto published recently by six prominent Alberta intellectuals, who urged the provincial government to build a "firewall" around the province by withdrawing from national programs.

    Stephen Harper, a key proponent of the provincialist strategy, said yesterday that he is not disheartened that his views have apparently not been embraced by the majority of Albertans.

    "I think there is a lot of flux to these ideas -- they are really just beginning to take hold," Mr. Harper said.



    Naturally, our british electoral system rewards such popular support.

    So why do less than 40% of Canadians support this man? Some people hate taxes like the Abrahamic religions hate babies with foreskin. It doesn't have to make sense. They're dirty & someone needs to cut them without pity.

    Liberez Nous Des Liberaux

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  • 4/18/2011
  • P-ublic E-nemy
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  • Canada's general election is only a few weeks away (May 2, 2011). Given our natural resources & strategic location...you're probably wondering what emerges when an oil-rich heiress straddles the worlds greasiest gigolo.

    But first, an important message from Canada's intelligence agency (CSIS):

    Richard Fadden, the director of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, told CBC News in an exclusive interview: "We're in fact a bit worried. We have an indication that there's some political figures who have developed quite an attachment to foreign countries."

    Source: CBC

    Yeah yeah, whatever.

    Today, we meet the leader of the honourable opposition (Liberal Party of Canada), Michael Ignatieff:

    He has been a writer, a journalist, a teacher of human rights, and a proud voice for Canada on the world stage.

    He is a leader who listens. Since he was elected to Parliament, Michael has travelled to every province and territory, sharing his vision with Canadians in communities large and small.


    If you haven't heard of him, don't worry - neither have we. Nobody saw him for 30 years, then he just showed up one day. The news told us an international superstar had arrived to lead us into globalization. I don't know...Global TV said the same thing about Kevin Newman & Dawna Friesen.

    In the 30 years that writer Michael Ignatieff has lived abroad, he has sometimes heard the opinion that what happens in Canada is neither interesting nor instructive to others. "This view of my native land is painful to me," Ignatieff writes.

    So why does he stay away? "It's not easy to justify even to myself," Ignatieff says.

    He wanted, he says, to get his name up on "the Big Board"- publications like the New York Review Of Books and the New Yorker, to which Americans pay attention. Now that he's accomplished that, he hints that he may be ready to return.


    There have been Conservative attack-ads claiming Michael Ignatieff "didn't come home for you" (ie. the Canadian people). If you've ever seen HBO's polygamist drama 'Big Love', you'll know that it's not easy looking after four homes.

    Ignatieff says his journey "home" to the Ukraine was emotional and he hopes it shows onscreen.



    Ignatieff sympathizes with Ukrainian linguistic and cultural aspirations, but admits "I'm also what Canadians would call a Great Russian, and there is just a trace of old Russian disdain for these 'little Russians'."

    This phrase -- a well-meaning, but condescending one -- would drive most Ukrainians crazy.



    For those who deny that there is an American ideology, Michael Ignatieff has a crisp rebuttal: "Yes, we do have an ideology and, like all ideologies, it doesn't believe it is one. It just believes that it is The Truth."

    It is hard not to agree with Michael Ignatieff when he says: "There is nothing more frightening than American innocence. It's a fearsome, sometimes murderous innocence. Our inability to question our own motives is truly alarming."


    Maybe I shouldn't judge. After all, we're a worldly peoples. We humour third generation Canadians who add prefixes to their nationalities. We encourage trips to Paris, so the Quebecois can hear what French really sounds like. We even tolerate Albertans & their various cow-related fetishes.

    It's not like Michael Ignatieff's slagged off Canadians & pledged loyalty to a foreign nation.

    [Michael Ignatieff writing in the Toronto Star]

    There remains in the Canadian psyche what Freud called "the narcissism of minor difference" - a stubborn insistence on the small but vital inflections that make us different from the waning imperial culture to the south.

    If Canadians want a quiet life, they may have to give up on Canada altogether.

    Source: Toronto Star


    [Michael Ignatieff writing in the National Post]

    "Don't attack me, I'm a Canadian," is a very, very strong reflex in our country and always has been. And to be blunt, it is naive narcissism.

    In Washington, I live my working life in a policy environment in which Canada is a kind of well-meaning Boy Scout. We have aligned our foreign policy with that multilateral vision of the world and our neighbours to the south don't like it one little bit.



    Michael Ignatieff, who teaches at Harvard, concedes American misadventures...but he is most influenced by stirring words he repeats here:

    "First a wartime president, then a battlefield rabbi, then a black pastor -- all reach into the same treasure house of language, at once sacred and profane, to renew the faith of the only country on earth that believes in itself in this way, the only country whose citizenship is an act of faith, the only country whose promises to itself continue to command the faith of people like me, who are not its citizens."

    I guess the earthquake destroyed math

    1
  • 4/05/2011
  • P-ublic E-nemy
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  • I asked these dumbasses to calculate the popular vote. They gave me performance art.

    Haiti just completed its two-round presidential election process.

    These were the final results from the first round election in 2010:

    Source: CIA FactBook & Provisional Electoral Council

    Haiti
    Total population: 9,719,932
    Total eligible voters: 4,712,693
    Total votes cast: 1,074,056

    Michel Martelly
    Total votes cast: 234,617
    Popular support among eligible voters: 5%
    Popular support among the population: 2.5%

    Mirlande Manigat
    Total votes cast: 336,878
    Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
    Popular support among the population: 3.5%

    Popular support among eligible voters

    These were the preliminary results from the second round election in 2011:

    Source: CIA FactBook & Haiti Libre

    Haiti
    Total population: 9,719,932
    Total eligible voters : 4,694,961
    Tota votes cast: 1,053,733

    Michel Martelly
    Total votes cast: 716,986
    Popular support among eligible voters: 15%
    Popular support among the population: 7%

    Mirlande Manigat
    Total votes cast: 336,747
    Popular support among eligible voters: 7%
    Popular support among the population: 3.5%

    Popular support among eligible voters

    And this was the batshit crazy analysis coming out of North America:

    Source: The New York Times

    One of Haiti's most popular entertainers was elected president in a landslide, according to results announced Monday.

    It appears that Haitians believed that only a political outsider like Mr. Martelly could change the country's direction.

    Source: Reuters

    "Martelly's victory implies a rejection of the political class that has both governed and been in the opposition," said Robert Fatton Jr., a Haiti expert and professor in the University of Virginia's Department of Politics.

    "Martelly captured the mood of the voters by cleverly using his 'bad boy' image to enhance his status as the ultimate 'outsider' who symbolized change," he told Reuters.

    Source: Associated Press

    “Micky is a political animal, and the political establishment failed to realize how much of a phenomenon he is,” said Garry Pierre-Pierre, editor and publisher of The Haitian Times, a New York-based newspaper. “This is a man who literally can get a million people to move to his groove.”

    Hope these motherfuckers get buried under the landslide they're manufacturing.

    How far we've come

    0
  • 3/28/2011
  • P-ublic E-nemy
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  • 2003: The year you couldn't fight or fuck without night-vision.

    Remember the Iraq invasion in 2003? Though I was a yungin', I can still recall the sights and sounds as my TV broadcast an endless parade of overnight human rights activists, feminists, & democrats. They all agreed, other peoples children needed to act, and act now. Without Paris Hilton, the year would have lacked serious thought.

    Remember 'Control Room' from 2004? The documentary introduced us to a young network called Al-Jazeera. They challenged dogma & gave voice to collateral damage. I wanted to date an Arab reporter & get her integrity to rub off on me.
    Before we go any further, journalists in the northern hemisphere can relax. You're so vain, you probably think this song's about you. It isn't. Seriously, like 63% of us are proud your profession hires so many dyslexics.
    No, this is about young jeezy. Actually, it's 2011 and jeezy's not young anymore. They've found their Iraq in Libya, their Saddam in Gadhafi, and their Pentagon in Qatar. As we shoot the shit, so do Qatar & NATO. To be fair, everyone knows Arab fighter jets are programmed to fly away from Israel and towards Muslims.

    Throughout the day, Al-Jazeera's interview & debate segments are handed over to various Libyan exiles from the US & the UK. When a reporter appears in Benghazi, he's sure to be accompanied by helpless victims or victorious heroes. When a reporter appears in Tripoli, she's sure to be alone and highly skeptical of civilian casualties.
    Al-Jazeera sent Anita McNaught to report from the parallel universe that seems to be Tripoli.

    During an early report, McNaught showed off the aftermath of a NATO attack on the presidential compound. She suggested the Libyan government themselves caused the damage - as the rubble lacked sufficient smoke & fire. Within minutes, American hospitals began treating 911 truthers for debilitating erections.

    In a later report, McNaught showed off pictures of dead bodies at a morgue. This time, she entertained the possibility of NATO culpability - because the bodies were sufficiently "mangled". Quickly enough, she suggested that Bin Ladin Saddam Gadhafi counted his terrorists fedayeen reserves as civilians. By the off-chance that civilians were in the bunch, she repeatedly warned the audience that the images were highly "political" in nature.
    Yes. Al-Jazeera dismissed images of dead Muslims as "political".

    He's a vengeful god. More reason to ignore the little bitch.

    0
  • 3/28/2011
  • P-ublic E-nemy
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  • Still they sang: "Hit me with your best shot. Fire away!"


    I am the Lord! I will send all my plagues upon thy heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayst know that there is none like me in all the earth!


    Source: The Old Testament
    Devastating floods
    Exodus 9:18 - Behold, I will cause it to rain...such as hath not been since the foundation thereof even until now.

    Severe droughts
    Exodus 7:19 - Stretch out thine hand upon their pools of water, that they may become blood.

    Rolling blackouts
    Exodus 10:21 - Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land, even darkness which may be felt.

    Disappearing beef
    Exodus 9:3 - Behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thy cattle which is in the field.

    The unthinkable
    Exodus 11:5 - All the firstborn in the land shall die


    Venezuela, art thou deaf?! I am the Lord!!!


    Source: Canadian Press & Datanalisis
    Leon said Chavez remains Venezuela's most popular politician, with an approval rating of more than 50 per cent — though Leon did not release a specific approval rating.
     
    Copyright 2010 VeeeATCH!